b thang.

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SHUTUP in my boudoir

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7.8.05

well what ever happened to despair.

so i have been on holiday.
there have been way over TWOHUNDREDPOSTS from the friends on my livejournal while ive been away. in one week. i hope they GET A LIFE one day.
i wont really say anything about my holiday because it doesnt interest me to regurgitate this, but it was nice. i felt the same when i came back from paris.

luke i feel really bad for you that if you stay in your room you never know the time because i think your computer clock is wrong. and your phone clock assuredly is.


ive been yearning to tie this down.
so what i think i have.
where is the rain and the cold blue.
where is me crying on the carpet in my underwear.
where is me gleaning whiskey from the cupboard and drinking with the computer screen.
where is my flirtacious self. where has she been since that boy with dark hair and dark eyes and dark everything that no one knows about.
NO ONE EVEN KNOWS AND I AM LIKE DID I GROW TIRED OF THIS DID IT TIRE ME DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG DID I HURT SOMEONE and ive put on weight and am finding it so hard to forgive myself and start again and i feel sad but im ignoring it with all i can.

i wonder what my heart looks like.


once i fell in love with a girl for a few seconds because i touched her back and it wa the softest thing i've ever felt on a human being by a long, long way.
it reminds me of the time i fell in love with a boy for some time because he spoke to me and looked at me and i winked at him, and he talked to his friends about me and blew me a kiss that i blew back and the few hours we were in the same colossal room together were wonderful, it was a perfect relationship.
once when i was maybe about eight or a bit older i fell in love with a woman in a shoe shop to see what it was like. she had hair the same colour as her lipstick.
the other day we remembered the guy (with the misfits tattoo) and it is strange i liked him so much. it is strange to think back on things. i feel like i sit high above everything in a silver crown watching rail thin streaks of blue rain and wind lacing miles of moorland before me and memories wage like samurai battles to tremulous violins.
i am the queen of everything.

commentz

whispered by killa b at 10:29 PM | 0 answerphone msgs